


Paradox

by Fairfaxleasee



Series: Cullen/Lyta [2]
Category: Dragon Age (Video Games), Dragon Age: Inquisition
Genre: Angst, F/M, Injury, Mage Inquisitor (Dragon Age), Training
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-01-25
Updated: 2021-01-25
Packaged: 2021-03-18 00:21:21
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,049
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28983291
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Fairfaxleasee/pseuds/Fairfaxleasee
Summary: In another training mishap, Lyta Adaar's control of her magic slips with dangerous immediate and long-term repercussions.
Relationships: Cullen Rutherford & Solas, Female Adaar & Solas (Dragon Age), Female Adaar/Cullen Rutherford, Female Inquisitor & Solas (Dragon Age), Female Inquisitor/Cullen Rutherford
Series: Cullen/Lyta [2]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2141982
Kudos: 5





	Paradox

“ _ Again _ , Herald!” Solas was somehow an even more relentless taskmaster than Vivienne. 

Lyta Adaar tried to switch up who was tutoring her. Vivienne and Solas each had clearly established methods - and while they obviously worked extremely well for  _ them _ , Lyta wasn’t overly enamored with either. By switching tutors, she was able to demonstrate the progress they were looking for without being forced to adopt more of their personal styles than worked for her. Neither of them seemed to mind that she was still working with the other, as long as Lyta’s comfort-level with her magic kept improving, although they each obviously thought they were the superior choice and that she shouldn’t be so concerned about the other’s feelings. 

There were, however, certain lessons she could only have with Solas. He’d brought Lyta out to the clearing he liked to use for their training sessions hours ago and she’d been casting practically non-stop the entire time.

“I just…” she gasped for air and put her hands on her knees for balance. Her lungs burned and her casting arm throbbed. “Can I just rest for a few minutes?”

“ _ No _ . The entire point of this exercise is to see what effect, if any, the Anchor has on your magic once you reach your limit.” He let a sly grin slide across his face, “It was, as I recall, your idea in the first place. And a characteristically prudent one.”

While Lyta agreed that the idea was prudent, she doubted very much she and Solas were in agreement about just  _ why _ it was so prudent. Solas seemed interested in knowing just how, when, and whether the Anchor was affecting her magical abilities (he had, fortunately, stopped being annoyed that her recalcitrance to use her magic prior to being pulled into the Inquisition made it difficult to determine a baseline for what her magical abilities were before the Anchor). Lyta was less concerned with theoretical academics; she just didn’t trust the rebel mages they were going to recruit enough to risk the Anchor getting out of control when she tried to close the Breach. From what she’d seen of Grand Enchanter Fiona’s critical thinking and decision making skills, she wouldn’t trust the woman to run the market stall her parents had for an hour in the pouring rain with no customers in sight, let alone command and organize some of the most inherently powerful people in Thedas, more of whom than Lyta liked seemed to think that they were entitled to use that power however they wished without any regard to the consequences for themselves or anyone else. Personally, Lyta enjoyed thinking of the irony that within months of having ‘freed’ them, Fiona had managed to essentially sell everyone, herself included, into slavery in the Tevinter Imperium and would have been just as happy to leave them to it. Unfortunately, while Fiona was just another fool so mired in first-person bias as to assume she was above all culpability for choosing poorly, the time-dilation rifts and Magister holding the ‘free’ mages’ leash were too much of a concern to simply let Fiona and her rebels deal with the  _ extremely _ foreseeable consequences of their actions. Which was why Lyta had asked Solas to watch her for signs the Anchor was interfering with her magic as she stressed her reserves.

Lyta nodded and straightened. Or she thought she nodded and she tried to straighten. Once she started leaning back up, the world seemed to go slightly sideways and she had to stumble to keep from totally collapsing.

“Maker’s breath, Solas. You don’t think she’s at her limit already?” Lyta was fairly sure that there was only one Commander Cullen despite the fact that there currently appeared to be three of him.

Cullen had been supervising all her training sessions despite (or perhaps because of) the disastrous first one in which Lyta had quite literally sent him flying after she’d let her temper get the better of her. She’d been careful not to let that happen again, but as she’d continued to work with Solas and Vivienne, it became abundantly clear that Lyta’s abilities had the potential to be every bit as dangerous as she’d always suspected they were and Cullen had come in very handy at getting things back under control. As unpleasant as it was when the Commander brought his Templar training against her, it was the knowledge that he could, and would, that made Lyta feel comfortable enough to take any risks with her magic whatsoever.

Lyta had gotten a taste of the Commander’s skills at her second training session. In fact, it was only because of that taste that there had  _ been _ a second training session. Even with the decision to have her use practice dummies rather than an actual sparring partner, when the time had come for her to actually cast a spell she’d frozen up at the memory of Cullen being flung away only to lie motionless in the snow after she’d cast something with more intensity than she’d meant. For a few agonizing seconds, that felt more like an eternity, she’d thought she’d gone and done something she couldn’t take back without meaning to do it. The exact thing her Grandmother had warned her about. The exact thing she  _ never _ wanted to do.

“My dear, I’m afraid I really  _ must _ insist you cast something or I shall be forced to  _ make _ you,” Vivienne had been standing in front of Lyta far enough from the dummies that Lyta would be unlikely to hit her by accident while aiming for them, but close enough that Lyta could see her as well as them. Lyta could also see the resolve which barely concealed the frustration on the Enchanter’s face as she brandished her staff.

Lyta focused her gaze on the dummies. In truth, she’d much rather be hit by one of Vivienne’s spells than cast one of her own. She usually got hit with her own spells anyway, either because she tried to hold them too long or because she’d use her Force magic to re-direct them towards herself to keep them from hitting something or someone that  _ didn’t _ have it coming.

“I do not make idle statements, Herald.” Lyta still wouldn’t look at Vivienne but she had a suspicion that the resolve had left and the only thing on the Enchanter’s face would be frustration.

“Hold a moment, Enchanter.” Lyta turned towards Cullen’s voice. He had been standing about fifteen feet from Lyta on the other side of the dummies from Vivienne and was striding towards her, head cocked, brow raised; a question on his lips, “Herald, I’ve been thinking about what you told me yesterday, and I was wondering; just how much do you  _ know _ about the Chantry?”

“I  _ assume _ there is a point to this, Commander?” Vivienne didn’t sound any more pleased with Cullen than she was with Lyta.

Cullen looked away from Lyta towards Vivienne, “After you left us yesterday, the Herald told me why she never went to a Circle.” Cullen slowly moved his arm from Lyta to Vivienne to offer Lyta the opportunity to explain herself before he did it for her.

She turned to the Enchanter. She still didn’t understand why this was so surprising to everyone; it still seemed the only rational conclusion to arrive at based on the information she’d been presented. “I didn’t think I was allowed to go to a Circle. I’m not Andrastian, I didn’t think they’d take me.”

Vivienne put her staff back on her back, “Oh, you poor girl.”

Lyta flinched away from the pity. She realized she was supposed to be grateful for a chance to be part of a community, but she missed the apathetic co-habitation she’d cultivated in her mercenary company. After her grandmother had died, she’d learned to continue on without people. She was beginning to realize that in exchange she had managed to un-learn how to continue on  _ with _ people.

“So, Herald,” in turning away from Vivienne’s pity, Lyta had turned directly back to Cullen’s question, “What  _ do _ you know about the Chantry?”

“Uhh… it’s a building?” She glanced between Cullen and Vivienne who were looking at her blankly before trying again. “Something about a Maker… person, and chanting lights?” Cullen had brought a hand to his face and was squeezing his temples. Vivienne was shaking her head. “Well, I’m sorry! I didn’t expect that human mythology was a subject that was going to be all that pertinent to my life, so I didn’t see a need to pay  _ that _ much attention to all the details!”

Cullen raised the hand that wasn’t keeping him from having to look at Lyta and shook it slightly to get her attention. “Let’s just leave that for now.” He lowered the hand that had been covering his face and looked at Lyta, “What do you know about Templars’ abilities?”

“Uhh… mage hunting… stuff?” Templars had never warranted much attention from Lyta either. In her experience humans tended to be more worried about her horns than her magic.

Cullen narrowed his eyes at her, “Have you never had a Templar use them on you?”

Lyta rifled through her memory before shaking her head. She’d been involved in some scuffles with ex-members of the organization (or was Cullen the ex-member and they were the current ones?) now that she had been appointed ‘Herald of Andraste’ and was expected to somehow make them and the rebel mages stop trying to exterminate each other and be reasonable, despite her own personal inkling that just letting them exterminate each other was likely to solve things much more quickly  _ and _ less bloodily for the bargain. But none of the Templars had ever done anything to her that she hadn’t seen any other warrior do. That might have been because they were usually more focused on Vivienne or Solas and their spells so they weren’t paying attention when Lyta used a directed Force magic attack to knock them off balance and expose the seam under their helmets so her scythe or Varric’s arrows could make sure they wouldn’t be getting back up. After the Templar had attacked first, of course. Lyta never attacked first.

Cullen sighed and shook his head, “Well, I’m not sure whether I should be annoyed that their training was apparently so lacking or be grateful for it.” He looked at Lyta. “Templars are trained to nullify magic and neutralize magic users. Now,” he grabbed Lyta’s shoulders and pointed her at the targeting dummy, “I’m going to give you a first-hand demonstration of what that means. Try to cast a spell.”

Lyta turned her head just enough to glance nervously at the Commander, “But yesterday…”

He chuckled, “As I said, Herald, you didn’t hit me  _ that _ hard. And I wasn’t trying to stop you.”

Lyta was still skeptical but didn’t think there was a point arguing now that both Vivienne  _ and _ Cullen were insisting she actually cast. She looked back at the dummies and started to draw on the energies of the Fade. She had barely begun to feel the magic build when every part of her body  _ burned _ , the air rushed from her lungs, and she collapsed on the ground.

“ _ Commander _ ! Was that  _ really _ necessary?”

Lyta couldn’t see Vivienne from where she was lying but she could see Cullen staring down at her. And the sword he held pointed at her throat.

He had waited for her to meet his eyes before speaking, “I want you to know, Herald, that while I would much prefer not to have to do that again, I am perfectly prepared to  _ without hesitation _ . Now, in case you’re concerned, that particular technique is meant to completely neutralize a caster long enough for them to be captured or executed. It’s not something I would expect would be necessary if a spell or two gets out of hand in one of these sessions. But as I said, if it ever  _ is _ necessary to use again, on you or anyone else, I won’t hesitate. Have I made myself clear?”

Lyta’s lungs still hadn’t been working right so she couldn’t get any actual words out, but she nodded to indicate she’d understood. Cullen had waited for her to stop coughing when she tried to breathe before reaching down to help her to her feet.

He’d never had to use that technique again, although there had been times when Lyta had had trouble completely nullifying a sustained spell on her own and he’d been required to use some less extreme methods to break her concentration. After a few weeks of practicing with actual, trained mages, Cullen had told Lyta he thought she had enough basic control to practice without them as long as he was able to watch. She wasn’t quite sure why Cullen was so insistent that  _ he _ be the one watching; Cassandra and Leliana had started commenting that his obsession with ‘hovering over’ (Leliana’s words) Lyta was interfering with his ‘ _ actual _ work that needed doing’ (Cassandra’s words). But she wasn’t going to question it, because Lyta was grateful that he was willing to stay; she knew he’d step in if he needed to and she wasn’t sure she’d be confident enough with a different Templar to practice the types of magics Solas and Vivienne had started demanding of her. She was also relieved that he was willing to be in close proximity to her and was finally convinced that Lyta had no intention of blowing anything up deliberately - and was making every effort to keep herself from accidentally blowing anything up. 

It was also nice that he would try to step in and end the lessons if he thought Lyta was being pushed too hard, too far, or too fast. Vivienne would usually listen. Solas would only listen if whatever purpose he had for the lesson had been accomplished, and as the purpose of  _ this _ lesson was to keep Lyta on her feet and casting as long as physically possible he was entirely unwilling to deviate from his plans based on Cullen’s concerns.

“I would have thought you of all people would realize, Commander; a mage who can stand is a mage who can cast.”

“And you think what she’s doing now counts as ‘standing’?”

Lyta wasn’t sure if Solas had actually oscillated his head or if it was another trick her eyes were playing on her, like the sudden increase in the number of Templar Commanders. She was fairly sure that Solas had actually approached to examine her more closely because his next words sounded much nearer than his previous ones. “At the moment, yes. I promise you, Commander, that once she cannot stand, I will no longer insist that she cast. However, as she  _ can _ currently stand, she will continue to cast.”

Lyta felt someone - she would have assumed was Solas, if she had the energy to assume anymore - straighten her and point her in the direction of… she couldn’t tell, all she could see was a brownish-grey lump that could have been a rock or a tree stump. “A lightning spell.” 

She shook her head at the words. It cleared enough of the fog for her to see Solas standing several feet away from her pointing at the target. She closed her eyes and focused what little energy she had on her casting hand. She felt the pin-pricks of the lightning at her fingers and let it build until she could feel the spell in her teeth before releasing it.

She saw, but something was funny about the pace, Solas take a step back with an entirely new expression on his face. She heard something that sounded like someone was talking underwater.  _ That doesn’t make any sense, we’re not underwater, are we? _ Then she saw Cullen reach out from behind Solas to pull him back and behind himself, shield drawn.  _ At least there’s only one again… there were… more? Somewhere? But he’s moving funny, too. _ And he had the same odd expression. Lyta turned to look at whatever Cullen and Solas were. When she saw what they were looking at, she was finally able to place the expression; or at least what the expression should have been: abject horror.

The spell she had just unleashed was completely out of control. It was somehow more powerful than anything she’d summoned up to that point in the session, and its destruction wouldn’t be limited to its target. She could have been aiming at one of the mountains in the distance and the spell wouldn’t have been limited to her target.

There would be no getting the spell under control; Cullen was good, but Lyta wasn’t willing to count on him or anyone else being  _ that _ good. It was going to hit something, and it was going to hit that something  _ hard _ . And if someone would have to pay for her letting her magic get away from her, it was only fair that it be her. She didn’t have much left, but Force magic had always been her forte; she wouldn’t need much to pull the spell directly back to her. She saw the magic change direction and begin heading towards her.

\--------------------------------------------

The second the spell left Lyta’s fingers, Cullen knew something was wrong. He’d been watching her training and while she was a gifted Spirit mage (and a prodigious Force mage), he had  _ never _ seen her produce anything nearly as powerful as what she’d just unleashed.

Judging by what he could see of Solas’ face, the apostate was just as unpleasantly surprised as Cullen was.

“I told you we should have stopped!” Cullen vaguely realized he had shouted the sentiment rather than just thinking it as he shoved Solas behind him, but decided he didn’t care.

“That is rather unhelpful at the moment, Commander.”

“So is that!”

“I can cast a barrier. Between that and your shield, we should be left relatively unscathed from the debris. There’s nothing in that direction to be concerned about the spell hitting…”

Solas stopped talking as they watched the bulk of the spell reverse direction. Some of the energy from the spell was still hurtling towards nothing of any import, but too much of it was now heading directly for Lyta’s chest.

_ Of course she’d pull it back at herself! It’s the first thing she does when she thinks something might go wrong! How could I have  _ forgotten _ that? _

“You were saying?” Cullen glared at the man.

“Also unhelpful, Commander. Quickly, can you do anything to stop that?”

“...no.” All Cullen’s Templar training and he could only think of one thing to do about a spell like that: get out of its way. And Lyta wasn't about to do it herself, even  _ if _ she were capable of doing it. And they were too far away to make her do it.

_ She’s… going to die? No, that can’t be right! But, I can’t… there’s no…  _

“Unfortunate, but not unexpected.” Solas had drawn his staff and stepped beside Cullen. “I regret that I am nowhere near the Force mage our friend is. We’ll just have to hope I can manage to blunt the impact enough.”

Cullen watched as Solas unleashed a series of spells. They all managed to redirect some of the energy from Lyta’s but when the remainder hit her, as they both knew would happen, it knocked her back with enough force that she slammed into a tree on the edge of the clearing before collapsing to the ground.

“Herald!”

“ _ Lyta! _ ” Cullen dropped his shield and rushed to where she lay motionless. He threw off his gauntlets so he could try to feel her neck for a pulse.

_ No! Dear Maker, please no! We still need her! I… _

He felt Solas attempt to push him out of the way, “Commander, must I point out that I am in a much better position to minister to her than you are?”

He didn’t move and Solas pushed harder. “But…”

“ _ Commander, _ if you are that insistent on attempting to find a pulse, I would suggest the femoral artery. It is both a better place to look and  _ not _ in my way!”

Cullen reluctantly moved away from Lyta. “The…”

“The femoral artery.” Solas slipped into the spot Cullen had just vacated and began trying to heal Lyta before he smiled with more amusement than Cullen thought was appropriate, particularly given the circumstances, “It runs on the inside of her thighs. The best place is as close to her hips as possible.”

“I… what…?” Cullen looked at Lyta as the implications of what Solas was implying he should do momentarily overwhelmed his concern for her. “Are you… are you suggesting?”

“I was suggesting nothing.” Cullen very much doubted that from the way Solas was still grinning. He’d seen a similar expression on Cassia Hawke’s face often enough to know  _ exactly _ what it meant. “I merely wanted you out of my way.”

“...of course you did.” 

“I think you’ll agree I’d have been hard pressed to heal her with you sitting exactly where I needed to be, pawing at her neck.”

“I wasn’t-”

“She’ll be fine, by the way. Bruised and likely very sore, but fine.” Solas got up and walked a few paces from Lyta.

Cullen knelt before her and felt her neck for a pulse again. Once he was assured it was present and steady, he kept one hand behind her head as he lifted her off the ground enough to cradle her upper body in his arms. “...Lyta.”

He thought he might have heard Solas laugh but decided to ignore it. Instead he addressed the man. “Did that… Was that because of the Anchor?”

Solas’ face fell slightly. “I…” He shook his head, “Unfortunately, I don’t believe it was. I believe that we have, finally, seen just what our Lyta is capable of when she’s not holding back.”

Cullen stiffened at the implications. He knew, and somehow Solas knew, that in the Circle any mage with the ability to cast a spell like Lyta just had would be made Tranquil for  _ everyone’s _ protection. Lyta’s control was admirable, and obviously carefully honed and practiced, but as had just been demonstrated, it couldn’t be perfect.

“While I doubt the Anchor contributed in any way, it is possible that her abilities may not be abnormal for a Qunari mage. I admit, they are outside my sphere of experience.”

Cullen thought back to the Saarebas he fought during the Arishok’s assault on Kirkwall. They were capable of generating a cage of lightning around themselves in a devastating attack. Based on what he’d seen, if that energy had been directed outward rather than around… it wouldn’t have been anything close to what Lyta had just done.

Solas waited several seconds before breaking the silence. “Before I go fetch Bull to see about getting her back to Haven, I have two thoughts, Commander; that I hope you’ll consider.” 

Solas seemed to have understood the implications of Cullen’s silence. Cullen wasn’t sure he was capable of understanding the implications of Solas’ thoughts at the moment, but nodded anyway.

“The first is for when the Seeker or anyone else asks about what happened; for all we know she and Bull are already on their way here, that spell will not have gone unnoticed. I do not believe a Tranquil would be able to use the Anchor with sufficient skill to be able to close the Breach, and I would be skeptical that she would be able to close smaller rifts.”

“...so that’s it?” That had sounded like two thoughts to Cullen.

“Unfortunately not, Commander. The second thought is for when she wakes up; she fears what she is capable of, and I think we agree after what we’ve just seen, for legitimate reasons. I believe that she fears herself more than she fears the rifts or the Breach and as such is unlikely to heed my first thought at all.”

Cullen heard Solas turn and walk in the direction of Haven. He adjusted his grip to press Lyta to him while he could. Bull would come too soon and he’d have to let her go. And once he did, he would never be able to hold her again. For both their sakes.

_ I love her. I  _ can’t _ love her. _

_ But…  _

_ I love her. _

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks to blondetexan and xqueen0fhellx for betaing.


End file.
